So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
