I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
