pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
