she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
