you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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