Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
