I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
