Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
your room smells of hookers.
And success
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize