She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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