can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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