just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize