i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
