he was CRYING into my vagina
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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