your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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