I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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