Do you still have your period?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
