how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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