need another drink. this is the easiest way
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
