On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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