Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My dick has a subreddit
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
