u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
