Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
