Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize