Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize