That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
