Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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