If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
