Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
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