just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize