Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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