Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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