so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
