he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
