i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
