I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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