Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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