i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
