this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
false alarm. still invincible.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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