i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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