they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
