discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
