Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
