Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.

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(315): View more from New York

I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..

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(740): View more from Ohio

MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

You ever have a fart follow you around?

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