No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
