Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
