I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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