Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
