ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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