I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just puked most of my soul out..
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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