she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
