Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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