Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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