I got her a Nickelback box set.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
