do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Let's paint friendship bongs
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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