Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
