Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
