i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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