I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
