girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
