yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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