Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
