hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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