Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
