That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
