My brain says no but my pants say off.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
