so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
