Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
