he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
