he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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