He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
