I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
