He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
